Sharing Special Moments

It may not seem like a special moment to most everyone that reads this but for myself it was. When we got into the car mom wanted to put her house keys in the glove box. I stopped her and said no, hook it on your purse so you don't loose it. Then I told her to put her sunglasses in her purse so she won't loose them. She told me that when she is in my sisters car that is where she puts them. The reason I wouldn't let her is because she would forget where they were then she panics ans I would forget to remind her to retrieve them.

Today I took mom shopping for her coffee, when we arrived there the store was not open. Seeing how mom and I both have a slight cold going on I talked to her about drinking tea with lemon and honey. She said that she had tea home and asked if I could take her to Wal-Mart so she could get the lemons and honey. So we headed off to Wal-Mart.

Mom knew exactly how to get to Wal-Mart while I was driving and proceeded to tell me where to turn and where to park. She knew exactly where to get the items she wanted in the store and we approached the checkout. She paid for her items with a check but did not write it in her register so I wrote it down for her. We left Wal-Mart and headed off to the coffee shop to get her k-cups.

When we arrived back to her apartment she put the hot water on and started to prepare the tea. I thought it was kind of funny that she put water in a pan to heat on the stove instead of her tea kettle that she has on the stove. I asked her why she didn't use the tea kettle and she said she didn't have one. I then asked her what was that on her stove, ( meaning the tea kettle), and she said oh, that is nothing. I passed it off and let it go.

Mom cut the lemon in half and put one in each cup and put the honey in each cup. I asked her where the tea was and she opened several cupboards to look for it. I found several different tea boxes and pulled out the green tea. I pored the hot water in the cups and we sat at the kitchen table with our tea and just talked. Our conversation was nothing important just a bunch of small talk but very enjoyable. Mom was sipping her tea from the teaspoon and making a face like the tea was really hot. I asked her if her tea was still too hot to drink. She chuckled and said no. She started to remove her tea bag and squeezed out the extra tea and then while it was still on the spoon she started to suck the tea bag. I started to laugh and asked her what are you doing? She laughed and said I don't know! Then she dropped the tea bag back in her mug. I was still laughing and helped her squeeze the tea bag and remove it from her mug. After that she did the same thing with the lemon!! I was laughing in hysterics by this time as she started to eat the lemon. Her face was priceless! We laughed so hard!!! Then she drank down the rest of her tea after I removed the seeds from the lemon. We both felt better after the hot tea and our sinuses opened up making it easier to breathe.

It was a very enjoyable moment that I will always treasure.

When Your Parents Memory Starts To Fade

January 29, 2014:

What do you do when you start to notice that your mother's memory is fading? How do you tell her? How do you talk to her about it without upsetting her? This is the struggle that my sister and I are facing.

A few years ago my mother noticed that her memory wasn't serving her well. This upset her and she brought it to the attention of her physician. He told her not to worry that it was a normal part of aging. Naturally, this did not sit well with her.

My mother has good days and bad days. You can notice what type of day she is having by looking at her eyes. There will be a glazed appearance and a blank vacant stare. The day can start off this way and take a sudden turn where she will be back to a more normal appearance and be able to remember things without difficulty.

Today, I received a phone call from my mother. She was very upset! She wanted to know if this was her home she was in. She knew that all her things were there but wasn't sure she lived there. I reassured her that she was in her home and she believed me. I then told her that I would be down to her home after I took care of the horses.

I arrived at her house around 9 am and stayed until 11:30. She had a doctors appointment scheduled on her calendar and she didn't know who the doctor was or why she was going there. I believe that was the beginning to her spiraling out of control with her anxiety and in turn caused her problem with her remembering her home. She asked me to call and cancel her appointment. For which I did. It was an eight month follow up appointment with the cardiologist.

After sitting with her for a few hours she started to remember this was indeed her home. We talked, not about her memory but about other things and by the time I left she shifted back to her normal self.

So, how do you talk to someone when they constantly repeat things and ask the same questions within a few minutes from the last time they asked? First you need to have a great deal of patience. Believe me this is not easy, especially if you are still in denial. You just want your mom back! The person that cared for you and protected you all your life is slowly slipping away and you have no control over stopping this process. Suddenly you find yourself  in the caregiver/parental roll over your parent.

I decided to start this blog in hopes of helping my siblings and I and most of all my mom. Maybe, just maybe, there will be guidance, support and knowledge that will guide us on this journey. I stumbled upon this article on the internet and decided to share it here. Maybe it can help us and others that are dealing with a loved one whose memory is fading.

This article came from huffingtonpost.com

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-friedman-lmsw/memory-loss_b_817429.html